“Mixed drinks tend to be invented on a whim, named as an afterthought, consumed on the spot and forgotten in an instant.”
William Grimes, food critic and historian, was perhaps a bit harsh in his judgement of the cocktail. Mixology culture is often very tongue in cheek and colorful in their way of naming the potations they put forward. I can’t say they are all winners. I for one find the Screaming Orgasm to be a blatantly forward and undeserving name for a creamy little shot that’s over in a flash… but I’m sure Short-lived Orgasm wasn’t quite the sales pitch they had intended.
The bar culture has a history of having some more risqué named cocktails to draw a giggle and a guzzle from its patrons. After pouring through one of my cocktail books (Lets Bring Back: The Cocktail Edition by Lesley M.M. Blume), I’ve pulled out five suggestive little love potions from a bygone era to tempt your desire this Valentine’s day.
NOTE: These cocktails (except the Angel's Tit) are formed from vintage measurements, which means they were meant for smaller glasses than we have now. If you want to serve up drinks "proud of the brim" then double the recipe. Cheers!
Between the sheets
This suggestive little number originated around the 1930s. I'm not one to typically drink in bed, because inevitably between my honey, my pets, and my own clumsy nature, I spill. However I totally approve of a night cap, and with a blend of brandy and rum, this cocktail seems destined to put you to bed…either to sleep or to more amorous activities.
¾ oz light rum
¾ oz brandy
¾ oz Cointreau
1 tsp lemon juice
Combine ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice and shake. Strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon peel and sip bedside, in pajamas or something a little more scandalous.
Subtlety is an art and unfortunately it is entirely wasted on this cocktail. The Bosom Caresser not only bears a fleshy colored resemblance to the anatomy from which it gets its name but served up in a coupe it even appears to be the same shape. It actually sits very pretty in the cup of a bra. Not surprisingly, this was a popular libation at gentlemen’s sport clubs where they no doubt snickered themselves silly ordering it.
1 oz brandy
1 oz Madeira
1 dash grenadine (A dash = 1/8 of a tsp)
1 dash curacao
1 egg yolk
Put ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and then strain into coupe glass. Caress it gently as you enjoy…naughty you.
Suprisingly this cocktail was not named for a dalliance. Named for being simply delicious, this cocktail has more than a little mischievous intent to inspire carnal activities.
1 oz Italian vermouth
1 oz dry gin
2 dashes Fernet-Branca
Pour ingredients into cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake. Strain over highball glass filled with ice. Garnish with an orange peel and serve with innuendo.
Secret stolen kisses are the hallmark of any good romance. Whether secret affair or daring forbidden romance, a stolen kiss can be exhilarating. As is such, this cocktail is a quick sweet embrace that leaves you wanting another sip.
1 ½ oz Pernod
1 ½ oz gin
1 egg white
1 teaspoon simple syrup
Pour ingredients into cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into chilled cocktail coupe. Feel free to let your lips linger.
Clearly there is an obsession with the ta-tas at the bar. Created in the 1920s when people lived to scandalize, especially those goody-goodies who tried to ban alcohol, the Angel’s Tit is a dessert like cocktail aptly named for its perky appearance.
1oz Maraschino Liqueur
1 dash grenadine
Pour the liqueur and grenadine into a chilled pousse-café glass (or shot glass), top with whipped cream and place a cherry right in the middle…to uh complete the look.
Hope you got a giggle and a guzzle out of these little seductive numbers in a glass. Perhaps a few of you are even blushing, you goody-goodies. Tantilizing, titillating and overall enthralling, make these little love potions part of a Valentine's day you'll never forget.
* I shouldn’t have to put a disclaimer in here that these are not actual love potions guaranteed to result in the activities that they proclaim, and that to use them as such is well… wrong, you pervert. Using these cocktails in an unscrupulous manner may result in insults, a slap, newly becoming single, or having to sleep alone.
Don’t be an idiot.
Have a happy Valentines day!
Celebrating all that we raise, sip, guzzle, clink, drinks and most affectionately cheers with!